Rivulets of sweat adorn my face as I blink away the vestiges of a nightmare. My breathing is ragged and uneven and my heart threatens to beat its way out of my chest.
The flashes of black, blue and white fade away as the seconds tick by, leaving behind a cold silence. Concentrating on the white wall ahead, I try to remember past the bright burst of colored light.
A therapist suggested I write down my dreams in a diary…a hard thing to do when there is nothing coherent to write about. I sigh and groggily dismiss the dream, as I’ve done countless times before.
The pitter-patter of raindrops plays an eerie beat on the windowpane. It’s a soothing sound in the dead hush of my room. I look at the clock on my bed stand, which cheerily blinks a bright red 5:04 AM.
Convinced that sleep will not come any more, I trudge downstairs to the kitchen. The empty house is creepy, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why my sister spends her vacation at college.
Ice-cold water helps to relax my agitated nerves. I drink some of it and splash the rest on my face. I lean on the kitchen sink. Calm breaths and the sound of falling raindrops permeate my senses as I feel myself relax.
Out of the corner, something dashes towards me.
My equilibrium evaporates. The glass slips from my hand and shatters the silence of the empty house.
Shit.
“Look what you’ve done!”
My dog bolts away. The sudden noise had frightened him, but he’ll slink back in a few seconds to inspect his latest achievement. I hastily collect the bits and shards as best as I can. He sits down next to me after some time, looking with those big brown eyes, hoping I won’t be angry.
I can’t help but smile.
I pull him closer, and reassure him that nothing could ever be wrong with us. I could never be angry with him.
He’s my best friend.
Sitting on the kitchen floor, I become painfully aware of how lonely I really am. The tears surprise me for I’ve rarely wept in the last two years. He snuggles closer. I hold him tight, afraid to let go of him as the emptiness rears its ugly head. For a few moments, I’m afraid to open my eyes, afraid of the reality I live in.
As the panic subsides, I pat his head and let go of him reluctantly. Bracing myself for the day ahead, I stand up and go back to my room, hoping in vain that sleep will take over.
I lie on my bed, staring at the bare ceiling for the next half an hour.
Chapter 1
~ Inside his head ~
Some days my thoughts are so biting and morbid, it takes even me by surprise. I make sure to stay cooped inside my house, refusing to talk lest anyone sees the person I really am. My behavior defines me as a sociopath, an anti-social best left alone to his own misery.
In my defense, I’ll say that it’s a rare phenomenon. Living alone in a two-storey house can do strange things to your sanity, but I live through it, one day at a time.
My life’s a hell hole. It has been like that for the last two years. Loneliness and depression are my daily companions, and bad luck pops in to say hello once in a while. Some days the shit falls from such a height, I wonder if god himself had crapped on me.
Oh, and I just got expelled from school.
It was nothing. The star quarterback told me that I cried for “mommy” in my sleep. I said I didn’t. He insisted, and the next thing you know, he has a busted kneecap. His entire life was ruined in just five seconds.
Aunt Sherry could’ve won an Oscar for her stellar performance that day — begging on my behalf, and imploring the principal that I didn’t deserve an expulsion. She said I deserved mercy. It broke my heart to see her like that.
The Head finally agreed, transferring me to my cousin’s school with glowing recommendations. Provided I kept my nose out of his school for the rest of my life.
The drive back home was terrifying. I’d made my peace with god as soon as my aunt was summoned.
“So, Michael,” she finally asked as we stopped at a red signal. She looks just like mom, sans her deep-brown eyes. “What did that boy say exactly?”
I was truthful, repeating his insults verbatim. It was hard not to get angry, but an involuntary fear of my aunt kept me in my place. Her expression remained stoic as she digested the information. I waited for the howl of reprimand, the ones that Daniel usually gets every morning, but it never came.
“And how bad did you hurt him?” she asked quietly.
“I broke his nose,” I said hesitantly, “and…and a leg.”
She sighs in defeat. “I don’t know what to say, Michael. If I were you, I would’ve done the same thing.”
Nothing else was said on the way back home.
*
I surface from the reminiscence and stare at the clock again.
It’s 5:42 AM. The drizzle stopped a long time ago.
I drag myself out from the warm sheets, hating the feel of being exposed to a bitter morning cold.
Trundling to the bathroom, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I’ve made a habit of studying it every day. My face gives me an insight, a window to what goes on inside my head. With time, I’ve learned to hide my feelings behind a mask, but in the mirror with only myself to see, something is revealed every now and then.
Today, I’m a mess.
With bloodshot eyes and tornado-swept dirty blonde hair, I can easily pass for one of those homeless drunks squatting in the local park.
I shake my head to get rid of the sluggishness creeping throughout. I brush my teeth and splash my face with the icy water. The shock rejuvenates me as I gear up for the day. Tying up my shoes, I set out for a much needed morning run.
The parks, trees, roads — everything has remained the same for the last few years. The bright mellow sun cheerily heralds a new day. Its cleansing ray washes away my earlier gloom. I stop at the local park to catch my breath. Filling my lungs with the crisp morning air, I exhale quietly, feeling the stress ease out of my conscience.
New school, new environment, new people…it’s something that I have a hard time acquainting myself with. Perhaps I can, if I’m willing to try. I just don’t have the heart to do it.
I always used to wonder who invented the concept of schooling. If I knew, I would’ve buried his body in my front porch and make it a point to walk over his grave when I left for school every morning.
I hate school.
No, it’s not the grades I’m worried about. It’s the animals inhabiting the place. Screeching, leering and always chattering. Their behavior never ceases to amaze me. My last school was a horrible example.
I’m happy, for now. Getting rid of my previous school had taken an immense load off my chest. The morbid thoughts start creeping in when I’m alone. Otherwise, as long as I have people around myself, I seem to work fine. The crowd will notice a new guy in the middle of a school session, but they’ll forget about it pretty soon.
Public memory tends to be very short, should I remind you.
I take a quick shower, make a palatable breakfast of milk and sandwiches, grab my bag and set out for school on my bicycle. I only have to peddle a few meters to reach Aunt Sherry’s house. She’s my next door neighbor.
My cousin opens the door as soon as I press the buzzer.
“I’m up!” My cousin yells. “MOMLOVEYOUGOTTAGOBYE!”
“You don’t have to update the whole neighborhood,” I say.
“They hafta know that the Warners are still alive, matey,” he deadpans.
Just then, a shout…nay, a roar, pierces the peaceful morning air.
“DANIEL!”
He winces at the near physical impact of the words.
“COME BACK HERE AND FINISH YOUR BREAKFAST!”
I roll my eyes. It’s the same drama almost every morning. The difference this time is that we won’t be parting ways at the intersection.
With a visible slump in his shoulders, my cousin drags himself back into his house. I have to follow inside as usual and offer moral support.
Aunt Sherry’s house is the same size as mine, but a lot cleaner and tastefully decorated. Being a single Mom who worked from home, she had single-handedly raised Daniel and promised to raise me up with him as well. And she didn’t fail in either.
Daniel is the valedictorian of his class. He has already earned scholarships to reputed Colleges up North.
Me?
I haven’t commit suicide yet. I can chalk that up to her support.
Right?
“I’m so sorry you have to see this, Michael,” she says as soon as we enter inside. Turning back to my cousin as if I’m not there, she yells, “EAT UP YOUR BREAKFAST, PRONTO!”
“We’re early anyway.” My voice is a despicable squeak as compared to her mighty roar.
“I hope everything’s fine, Michael?”
“Yeah, of cour-”
“I’M WATCHING YOU DANIEL!” She bellows out loud without even turning her back.
My cousin was quietly trying to stash the breakfast into his bag.
“Jesus Mom! Even Banshees don’t scream that loud.”
I grin. It’s one of those rare moments where I feel like a part of the family. For those precious moments, nothing feels out of place.
*
“Keep your head high, shoulders straight and put that I-don’t-take-crap-from-no-one face,” Dan instructs me with a serious look. It feels as if we’re about to raid an enemy base camp.
“Roger that.”
Daniel’s school isn’t much different from my previous one. Different location but the same ole shit. These were standard procedures for a newbie anywhere.
The building is a standard white, not much bigger than the one I was kicked out of. Students litter the grounds in front of it, many in their own groups. I get a few stares as some pinpoint me as the new guy.
“Meet my friends,” Daniel says cheerily. “Guys, this is Michael. Michael, these are guys.”
I had expected his friends to be a typical bunch of social misfits. Turns out they’re pretty cool.
“I’m Sam,” The first one with jet black hair introduces himself. His handshake is firm. Not too tight, not too flimsy either.
“Call me Mike.” I offer a genuine smile.
“Welcome to the jungle, Mike.” He winks, and I take an instant liking to his easy air.
“Nathan.” The next one shakes my hand.
He’s huge, easily towering over me by half a foot. Judging by his voice, he’s a soft-spoken person. A small grin splits his dark face. “I’m the jock around here.”
Something must’ve shown on my expression because Dan jumps in quickly. “Mike had a bad experience with a jock.”
I throw my cousin a dirty look and he seals his mouth shut.
“Oh.” Nathan’s grin gets even wider. “Don’t worry. The only thing I’ve ever kicked around here is the school football and our Danny boy here.”
“Hey!” My cousin cries indignantly.
“Just kiddin’.” He laughs. “Nice to meet you, Mike. Call me in if you ever need help. They say my size is enough to scare away most of ’em.”
I grin. “I will. Nice to meet you too.”
They’re good people. Every one of them.
Sam looks around. “Where’s Nina? You have to meet her.”
“She’s stuck somewhere else,” Nathan says. “She’ll be back before lunch.”
“C’mon, let’s go before we’re late,” Dan pipes up. Then he smiles. “Heads up, Mike, you’re in Sam’s Class.”
Lucky me.
“Barring a few nuts, you’ll be fine.” Sam opens the door for us both.
We enter the hallway — a typical affair with lockers adorning both sides of the wall. A few more students take notice. They take a glance before realizing that I’m not worth their time. I couldn’t care less. I’ll be more than happy to remain an anonymous for the rest of this session.
There’s a girl standing just outside my designated classroom. Raven black hair, pale skin, extremely beautiful and way out of my league. She was chatting with a mousy brunette before she noticed me.
“Who is he?” she asks.
“He’s new,” Sam speaks for me.
She evaluates me with a slight cock of her head. Her eyes are a pale grey.
“Oh, a new guy,” her voice is lightly amused, a slight sneer clearly evident. She reminds me of the bitches from my last school — heads full of thin air and noses stuck high in the sky.
“Let’s go,” Sam says, ignoring her.
We brush past her and enter inside.
“Cheerleader bitch?” I ask quietly.
Sam grins. “Close.”
I take my designated seat in the middle of the class. As much as I’d like to sit near Sam, I don’t think he’ll be of much help in here. Dumping my bag on top of the table, I sit down with a sigh.
Dear Jesus, I pray silently, please don’t fuck this for me.
I swear I heard his laughter.
Chapter 2
~ Ice Queen ~
“Claire, please!” Jim whines pathetically.
I throw him a dirty look and, like a dog trained to obey, he shuts up. The bastard has been sleeping around behind my back.
I feel angry. Angry at myself at not being able to hold onto him. Frustrated too, because he could’ve slept with any of my friends all these months.
And sad because of my own…incompetence.
I have to get rid of him before he makes a scene.
“You know what?” he says angrily. “You’re just a frigid bitch!”
That’s it.
I stamp on his right foot. He howls in pain and hops around madly. I shove him back. With a foot out of duty, he lands flat with a satisfying thud. He’s still howling as I enter the cafeteria.
My girlfriends greet me. I greet them back with a smile, all the while boiling with a rage inside, wondering which of these two-faced bitches slept with my boyfriend all along.
*
My brother used to say that you could tell a lot about people just by looking into their eyes — their emotions, their thoughts, their evasions, their lies. It’s a window to their soul. By the senior year, I had figured out almost everyone. The nerds, the jocks, the princesses, the so-called upper class, the so-called lower class — no one escaped my scrutiny.
I see lust in Jim’s. It’s not a bad thing, but seeing it all the time is disheartening. I didn’t know how long I could resist. One day, I would’ve caved in and given myself away. I needed an excuse to break up with him, and he gave it to me on a silver platter.
My girlfriends — lying, conniving bitches, all of them — aren’t what I’d consider as my friends. Given a chance, any of them will stab me in the back and bring me down.
Then there’s Dan Warner and his group. They look so…happy, so carefree and honest. I can’t chat with my friends in the cafeteria without being interrupted by their howls of laughter. I’ve never seen so much liveliness clustered in a single place. How I wish I could shut them up for good.
Then there’s this new guy.
He’s a mystery.
I’ve interacted once with him on his first day. I wish I had behaved better, instead showing off my bitch persona. He didn’t deserve it.
He uses aloofness on the exterior as a shield. Underneath his liquid brown eyes, there’s a hint of sadness. Something that was happy, but a long time ago. A part of his real self emerges when he laughs without a care, but the sadness…it remains. In time, I’ll figure him out too.
In the meantime, I have other priorities to deal with.
The news of my break-up will spread out like wildfire. Guys will mill around to fill the vacancy, but I’ll pretend to be depressed about it. Hopefully, I can last through the rest of the school session without having to keep someone for company.
Luckily for me, school ends today without another incident. I race back home and fall face first flat on my bed. My head throbs. My phone rings just then, making in groan in frustration. Contemplating suicide seems like a very viable option at this moment.
I look at the screen, and my headache disappears just as quickly.
“Joyce…”
“Is Claire Bennet dead?”
For the first time in several hours, I laugh. And admittedly, it feels good.
“She’s close to that stage.”
“What happened?”
“Don’t ask,” I reply glumly. She has her own problems. Letting her worry about my crap is the last thing I want.
“It’s Jim, isn’t it?”
Damn. There isn’t a single thing I can hide from her. Somehow, sitting hundreds of miles away, she can always read my mind.
I sigh. “Yes.”
“Do you want to talk?” she asks.
“No. Yes. I-I don’t know.”
Joyce is the only sane thing left in my life. With her, I can lower my walls and be myself. I laugh, cry and snort freely. She never judges me. I really wish I could be with her right now.
“Okay, tell me this — did you break up with him?”
“Yes, of course I did.”
She breathes out a sigh of relief. “About time you got rid of that leech.”
“Leech?” I ask, grinning. “You thought he was a leech?”
“Yes,” she states firmly, “an emotional leech that needed to be taken care of sooner. Seriously, I don’t know how you stood him all this time.”
“Joyce, I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” I say softly. “Tell me what’s up with you? What did the doctor say?”
“Oh,” she falters at the sudden change of topic. “Dee gave me the permission to do light physical activities. I can now run for five and a half minutes straight without feeling dizzy or nauseous.”
“Wow,” I say, “that is good news!”
“And Dad said he’ll let me join college if I get well enough!”
Joyce was diagnosed with a rare cerebral disease at birth. She used to have irregular fainting spells. Other than walking and physical activities that required little to no exertions, she was restricted to the confines of her house and its four walls.
Her Dad, my Uncle, did everything he could to make life easier for his only daughter. Home schooling, physiotherapy and what not. She has no social life, but she didn’t let it hinder her faith that she’d be able to live a normal life someday. She has shown good signs of recovery of late. I hope she can attend college next year like she always wanted to.
“Make sure you learn some kung-fu,” I say, “for you’ll have to defend yourself from the lust-crazed guys in college.”
“Oh, puh-lease!” she says bashfully. “I’m sure they’ll find someone who’s more beautiful and doesn’t stammer.”
“No, they won’t,” I say firmly.
Inferiority complex is another drawback my cousin has. If only she knew how beautiful she is.
“Gee! You’re too good for my ego.” She giggles. “I think I’ll kidnap you someday and stuff you in my trunk.”
“Oh, that’ll be wonderful!” I exclaim. “At least, I won’t have to deal with the professional nuts in my house.”
My cousin ends in a fit of hysterical laughter. She’s amused by how much I hate my parents, and I use the fact mercilessly, just to hear the sound of her laughing.
“Okay, Claire, it’s time for me to go. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Make sure you have my kidnapping trunk ready, and make it comfy too.”
She laughs. “Of course, I will. Take care, Sweets.”
“You too.”
And with that, she ends the call.
I keep the speaker close to my ears, not wanting the feeling of euphoria to stop. But like all good things that come to an end, the reality dawns over me. Taking a hard swallow, I close the screen and set my phone aside.
A few years ago, I tried to commit suicide but I chickened out at the sight of the blade. As soon as Joyce heard about it, she flew all the way over just to see me.
She said nothing, preferring to hold me in her warm embrace. I bawled like a baby for the first time after my brother died. I don’t remember how long because I cried myself to sleep in her arms.
~ Mundane Happenings ~
The dying rays of the evening sun light up the sky in a dark hue of violet. Orange clouds laze above, seemingly unaffected by the turbulence of humanity below. The walk back home is a slow one — partly because I don’t want to be cooped inside, but mostly because I loathe the immediate silence after socializing with people.
It was my choice to live alone. The silence helps me think clearly, and I’m able to concentrate on my thoughts better without having someone around, breathing down my neck.
Over the last two years, I have become sufficiently independent. I know how to cook (my loyal taste buds fully agree), wash dirty linen and wipe the surfaces. My only luxury is a cleaner hired by Aunt Sherry who makes sure the house remains in its pristine condition.
I insert the key, and enter the house quietly.
Dark, creepy and classy — my house will give Dracula a run for his money. With a flick of a switch, the lights come alive, bathing the house in a soft, warm glow. Mom invested in some classy, designer lighting. It’s one of the few things that make this house worth living in.
Snuffles pads up to me wagging his tail and demands his daily dose of affection — a bribe of his favorite dog food — that I’m more than happy to provide.
He’s the chief of the dogs around here, so I never had to worry about him getting bored. He recruits dogs to help him hound the other dogs in our neighborhood. He never interferes in my routine and has been a silent, albeit annoying, guardian to me all these years.
I wash my hands and enter the kitchen. Donning my Bluetooth headphone, I start chopping the vegetables for dinner. My favorite is a broth loaded with diced vegetables, strips of cooked meat and various assorted spices. After a few disastrous trials, I got the combinations right and stuck to it ever since. As I turn off the gas, my smartphone rings.
And there’s only one person on God’s green earth who would call me at this time.
“Hey sis,” I greet her.
“Hiya studdly!” she chirps back in a horrible, godforsaken accent. “Whatchha doin?”
It’s the same as ever. She enquires about my health, and I ask about hers in return.
Emma feels guilty leaving her baby brother alone in this miserable house. She phones me now and then just to make sure I haven’t done something stupid. My news of getting “transferred” to Dan’s school has nagged her suspicions, but she was glad I would have Dan to keep me company.
“Scored any girlfriends?”
This is one of those few times she needles the subject.
“Why are you so interested in my boring life?”
“Oh, come ON!” she wheedles. “As your adorable and awesome big sis, I have the right to know.”
“Don’t worry; your brother is the owner of a successful harem,” I reply blithely. A dead silence greets me back from the other end as I pour my dinner and take a careful sniff of my handiwork. It’s spicier than necessary.
Perfect.
“Bummer,” she says after some time.
“I don’t have the time, sis.”
“Hermit.”
“Whatever.”
“All that is left for you is to run naked in the Himalayas.”
Despite the many times I’ve wanted to strangle her, she always brings a smile to my face. We talk for a few minutes more before saying our goodnights. I take a seat in the huge dining table and say my daily prayer with a religious fervor:
“May the gracious lord have mercy to prevent thy humble servant from choking on his own rations. Amen.”
After wolfing down my meal and cleaning up, I visit Daniel’s house for one of our clandestine nightly meetings. Our discussions usually start with current events, and slowly veer towards girls and women of our school and beyond. It always does.
Dan and my sister are the brains of our family. No doubt whatsoever. Dan coached me so well that I excelled in almost every major subject. It’s a boon. On the flipside, I doze at the insanely boring lectures.
“Guess what,” he begins. “There’s a major upcoming project in socials.”
“I hate that topic,” I groan.
“You can to do a nice exposé on Little Home. I’m sure Claudine can help you out with the details.”
My mood takes a U-Turn immediately.
“The project will be a walk in the park, literally.”
“Yeah, here comes the catch.”
“What?”
“It’s a team-work. You’ll be paired with one of the girls, and your partner won’t be of your choice. It depends on your academic track record.”
I had a good record in my previous school. Perhaps that won’t count.
“So, I’ll be paired with…?” I ask hopefully.
“You’re new, so you’ll be paired with someone whose record is neat.”
That’ll take some load off my chest, at the very least.
“What about you?”
His grin is outright creepy. “I usually get paired with Missy. She’s an absolute delight to work with.”
Nina had taken some time out at lunch to hammer in the names of a few prominent members of my new school. Redhead, busty and an impossible ass — that’s all I remember about Dan’s partner.
“Let me guess,” I say, “she’s stupid?”
“Of course, not!” he exclaims indignantly, “She’s a highly intelligent – and a highly sexual – creature.”
His obtuse innuendo doesn’t take long to hit home.
“You didn’t.”
His sly, near maniacal, grin speaks for him. I know my cousin lost his virginity before he hit eighteen. With his looks and easygoing manners, he can charm his way into any Ice Queen’s pants.
“She has a boyfriend, doesn’t she?” I ask.
Matt is another jock gorilla of my current school. He’d love to pulp Dan if he gets the chance.
“So what!” he says, and leans back in his chair. “That ass can’t make her happy, so I have to do his job instead. As long as she’s, er, satisfied, I don’t have to worry about it.”
It isn’t every day that my cousin narrates his sexual adventures in detail to a bumpkin like me. Listening to his exploits gives me the courage to start fantasizing about my own.
“What do you think?” I ask. “Can I have a shot at my partner?”
“If I were you, I’d carefully stake her out and draw the lines first before making a move. Then I’d start with something like –”
I sigh. “I wasn’t being serious, Dan.”
I had to stop him before he started one of his goddamn lectures on sexual approach.
“Mike, you’re eighteen! When the fuck are you going to be serious?”
“When I find the right girl, I’ll think about it,” I say solemnly.
I don’t really believe I will ever find the right girl.
My cousin shakes his head in disappointment. “Someday, you’ll die a virgin and get canonized as Saint Michael, I tell ya.”
*
Having successfully blended in with the crowd, I got to know most of the faces. I’d like to credit this incredible achievement to my ninja skills, but the hard fact that a boring guy barely makes any ripple is a wonderful truth I freely admit to.
My current school…well, it isn’t that bad. There are good guys and there are bad guys.
And there are the ones in the middle.
My cousin and his rowdy group fall in the third category. Daniel made sure that I sat with him instead of moping about my own. His friends, now mine as well, don’t talk about my past. Perhaps they already know, but they don’t talk about it. They know their respective lines and choose not to breach it. I gladly return the favor and watch their backs.
Today, I’ll be assigned to a partner. Dan’s words still echo inside my head. There’s nothing I can do about the inevitable, except keep my fingers crossed. I hope that my partner’s obnoxiousness is above my permissible levels.
I don’t know why this project is making me antsy. The beat of my pounding heart is an instinct that I’ve grown used to over the years. It’s a premonition of something disastrous coming my way. Perhaps my partner is a murderous lunatic.
Worse still, it would be a jock.
If that happens, I’d rather hang myself with old, smelly socks.
The teacher, Cate Mahen, enters the class. I watch with trepidation as she opens her file and takes out a printed sheet. She adjusts her spectacles and pores over through the list.
“I’m sure all of you are aware of the project and its details. There have been a few adjustments, but the idea remains the same. It’s a team-work, and I expect all of you to cooperate…”
Blah blah blah.
“Partners once assigned will not be changed.”
Damn.
“Asher, Samuel,” she calls out the first name on the list.
Sam stands up slowly, desperately trying to hide a smirk with his hand but fails.
He told me earlier that his regular partner faints with dread every time they’re paired together. Despite Sam’s reassurance that he’ll do every bit of his share, his partner hyperventilates from day one. So, he goes with the flow and scares her whenever he gets the chance.
“Your partner will be Karen Marr.”
Karen, the mousy brunette sitting beside me, quietly bangs her head against the desk. She looks at Sam with dread, and Sam returns her gaze with an evil all-knowing wink. I can’t help but shake my head. The moment isn’t far when I’ll be wanting to bang my own head.
Two people out of the picture. I hear a few more groans and giggles before my name pops up.
“Lehane, Michael,” she calls out.
I stand up, and smile sincerely at her. She reads the list, readjusts her spectacles, and pores through the list again. Then she looks at me over the rim of her half-moon glasses.
I feel like a goat being scrutinized just before its slaughter.
“You’re new?”
Go figure.
“Yes, Ma’am,” I reply.
She looks back at her list. Did I somehow piss her off?
Chill the fuck out Mike, I cajole myself, it’s just a project…a career-determining, make-or-break, larger than life project that you can’t afford to mess up.
“Ah, yes. There have been a few changes to accommodate your name into the list. Although, that makes no difference…”
Say the name already, four-eyes.
“You partner is…”
Chapter 4
~ Stranger Danger ~
My guts freeze every time the teacher assigns a project in Socials.
Not that I hate the subject, but I dread my would-be partner. Last time, I was paired with Jim, and I had to do all of his work. That asshole couldn’t do anything other than whine about how less attentive I was becoming to him with each passing day.
Fucking leech.
I watch people being assigned with their respective partners, and I pray that I don’t get someone who’ll mess this up. It’s set-up in a random order most of the time. Prayers are the only thing that can save me.
“Lehane, Michael.”
He stands up and puts a huge, outrageously fake smile on his face. His efforts are worth the snigger that erupts around him. Mrs. Mahen reads the list, readjusts her spectacles, and pores through the list again. Then she looks at him over the rim of her half-moon glasses.
He keeps shifting his weight on his feet, something he does when he’s nervous.
“You’re new?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” he replies brightly.
She looks back at her list again.
Introduction of new kids changes the pattern, wreaking havoc on the regular partners. Means there are chances that I won’t be paired with asshole Jim.
A big grin splits my face as I consider my options.
“Ah, yes. There have been a few changes to accommodate your name into the list. Although, that makes no difference. Your partner will be…Claire Bennet.”
Phew! She didn’t pair me with —
Wait what?!
“Are you all right, Claire?” she asks me.
I jerk back to my senses.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
“Yes, Ma’am…” I say in the smallest voice possible.
“You made a strange noise. Are you sure? The doctor might be available…”
“That won’t be necessary, Ma’am,” I insist, trying to squeeze myself into a smaller size. I hope he didn’t notice me.
She nods absentmindedly and goes back to the list. Lehane was observing me all this time. I soooo hope he doesn’t recognize me as that bitch from Day One. His face reveals nothing, but his eyes say it all.
Anxiety, anger…disgust.
“Michael, you may sit now.”
He sits down quietly, and throughout the rest of the class, he doesn’t move a muscle. I don’t know if I should be happy, or curse my luck instead.
*
Apparently, I’m an incorrigible bitch in his eyes.
So what?
I don’t care what he thinks about me. I never cared what anyone thought about me. Why should I be bothering about him?
Screw him, says my erratic inner voice. Who cares?
He matters because he’s a potential screw-up for your career, says my more sensible inner voice.
I sigh in defeat. There’s no way I can do this all alone. I need his cooperation, even if I have to drag him buck naked, screaming and kicking and lock him inside a dungeon.
It’s funny how a simple project can put students through so much mental drama. I’m hyperventilating and cooking up wishful scenarios. Perhaps, he isn’t that mean, or nasty. I have to try and see for myself.
The cafeteria din is unnoticeable as compared to the noise of my inner thoughts. I should’ve been more alert as I suddenly see Jim approaching me.
Too late to make a run.
I really wish Mother Earth could swallow and puke him somewhere far, far away from me.
“Claire!” he exclaims, his voice agitated. “I’m trying to convince Mahen to get us back together. We’ll totally ace this project.”
Yeah, you and I together sound so good.
Said no one ever.
I ignore him as he rattles on about his teacher conspiracy theories and other bullshit. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Lehane making an exit from the cafeteria.
This might be my chance.
“Shut up,” I order Jim briskly. His jaw is hanging midair, stuck between repetitions of some mumbo-jumbo, as I hurry towards my grumpy partner.
“Hey!” I call.
He doesn’t stop, and walks out of the cafeteria.
Stupid me. What was his name?
“Michael Lehane!” I call again, and he stops this time. He turns around and looks directly at me. He’s partly surprised and partly annoyed. Up this close, his liquid brown eyes are…mesmerizing.
“Yes?”
I screech to a halt and pause to collect my scattered thoughts.
“We’re partners,” I say lamely.
Damnit, take control, Claire!
“So?” He isn’t making it any easier for me. I don’t know if it’s deliberate.
“Look we’re partners,” I say, “and we have to work together. If you get lesser marks, so do I.”
He cocks his head slightly to the right. “So, you’re implying I’m stupid?”
“No!” I insist. Pissing him off is the last thing I want. “It’s just that…I don’t know you, and we have to start ASAP.”
His eyes soften. Finally, I’ve made some sense.
“What do you want?” he asks cautiously.
“Can I have your number?” His eyebrows shoot up, and I add hastily, “We’ll have to talk after school and keep ourselves up-to-date.”
“Anything else?”
“Do you have any idea about this project?”
“Dan filled me in with the details,” he says. Of course, he’s the cousin of the bloody valedictorian.
“Do you have something in mind?” I ask. Maybe we could chalk out something.
“I have something in mind,” he says with a nod.
Please, not the women’s shelter, I pray. That has been done to death.
“Little Home, owned by Claudine Marie…have you heard about it?” he asks.
“Of course I have,” I exclaim. Everyone knows about her. “But the project wouldn’t be worth anything if we can’t get an interview with the head.”
Claudine Marie refused to entertain any visitors unless they had urgent issues that had to be taken care of immediately.
My mother tried once. She was left red-faced.
He shrugs nonchalantly. “She’s a personal friend. She can’t say no to me.”
No. Way.
“That would be…great.”
“When will we start working?”
I want to say now, but building a good temporary relationship with my partner is the first step. Pushing him around could backfire badly.
“Can we start tomorrow? You can ask Claudine, in advance, if she’s willing to help us out.”
“Anything else?” he asks.
“Uhhm…nothing I can think of right now.”
“Okay, then. See you tomorrow.”
With that, he turns around and walks away. I realize my heart is beating erratically. I gulp and wait for it to slow down.
What the hell just happened?
Chapter 5
~ Mister Who ~
“Spill!”
It’s hard to avoid Joyce’s interrogation once she smells something. She’s like a friggin’ shark. As soon as she heard me on the phone, she demanded to know what happened earlier today.
“I said spill!” she repeats.
“I told you there’s no one.”
Oops.
“I knew it. What’s he like? I want names!”
“Joyce,” I insist, “I swear he’s just my project partner.”
“Ooooooh!” she teases. “I like the way you say partner.”
“Dammit, Joyce, I’m not joking!” I say in my sternest voice, but end up giggling. It’s never easy to remain serious around her.
“Alright, alright! So, seriously, what’s he like?”
“Umm…” I think hard. It isn’t easy now that I have to picture him. “He doesn’t speak much, like a reclusive mystery full of secrets.”
“All that observation from one meeting?”
“You know how much I like to observe people.”
“Yeah, like a lil’ dingo,” she quips.
I laugh. “He’s new, so I think his so-called allure will wear off once I figure him out. But I know that won’t be easy.”
“Is he rude?”
“He isn’t rude,” I say, reclining back on my bed. “He’s just…cautious.”
“Wow. Now, that’s interesting,” she says. “So, what does he look like? Is he a strapping fellow?”
“Joyce, you pervert!”
“Guilty,” she admits giggling, then she adds, “but I’m really curious. You never blathered about a single guy like this before.”
“I blathered on the phone?”
“Yes you did. Now, don’t change the topic.”
“Okay, let me think about it.”
I start creating a mental image, and slowly his face comes alive. His dirty blond hair, his brown expressive eyes, his cute boyish looks that he’s completely unaware of…his lean, yet toned body that are perfectly —
“Helooo? Earth to Claire!”
“What?”
“So what does he look like?” she repeats slowly, as if I’m a dunce.
“He’s unique,” I say after some time.
Dead silence. Peals of laughter follow next. She gasps for breath, only to laugh again at a joke I don’t remember making at all.
“Oh my god,” she gasps after some time.
“Did I say something funny?” I ask, genuinely confused.
“Oh, Claire!” she says after she finally catches her breath. “You won’t believe me even if I held up a neon signboard in front of you.”
“Try me,” I offer.
“Trust me, you won’t,” she says after another fit of giggles. “Okay, I have to take my medicines now. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
“Uh huh.”
“Bye, sweets! And thank you so much for the laughs.”
And with that she cut me off.
This time, I’m left staring at my phone. I don’t remember say something peculiar…did I? But then, Joyce is very sensitive, and could be eccentric at times. I conclude that my cousin is nuts, and go outside for a much-needed walk.
Date of Birth unknown.
Abandoned at birth. Brought up in a now closed orphanage, and ran away at the age of eight. Several years later, organizes dozens of successful non-profit organizations including shelter for the homeless, children and orphans.
Awarded at numerous prestigious events, felicitated twice by the President himself and once by the UNICEF. Voted by the Times Group as the most influential Feminist and Champion for the cause of Orphans and Homeless thrice in a row.